Well I didn't, I went oh Fucking Hell (but i was being polite in my headline).

Looking for give away signs of habitation, Part 1:

Cars.. Nope
Dogs..Nada
Impressions in the surrounding over grown hog weed and grass..Het
Thats's cool
Peeps through window, anyone home..Na

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I opened the backdoor, which was only held closed by an old lump of wood resting against it.

C,mom
Lets mooch

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This could be interesting I thought.

Looking for give away signs of habitation, Part 2:

Coughs loudly..silence
"Amazon delivery", shouted loudly..silence
Flicks light switch..Nothing.
Turns tap.. dry
"Stop fannying about and get on with it"..voice in head.

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Wandering through the place, it was apparent that if unlived in it was only recently placed on the abandoned list that's for sure.

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Nothing more recent than 2018 hanging on the walls, both calendars from a road freight company, a former employer perhaps.

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Is this our man?

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Looks like he may have been a bit of a lothario in former times

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Music and books

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A vintage telly and the pipe off the hookah lying discarded on the floor

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A quick look in the bedroom, found the most ineffectual guard dog ever

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Keep going, do the kitchen and we are finished here

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Closing the door behind me, I left a world I knew not existed.

Uploading this little mooch I still wonder if our friend had just popped out to the shops, and if he were to return what would he think when he saw the fat stuffed dog had climbed up off the floor to sit on the chair!

I aint afraid of no ghost